Weighing in

Not in a getting on the scale sort of way, that would be just silly. No, I am finally weighing in on More To Love (aka Fatchelor). Let's first address the big stud Luke. Dude, I know you're like a kid in a candy store, but stop making out with EVERYONE! Some of those chicks will boil your bunny in a heartbeat and that's just giving them flames for the fire. Speaking of bunny boilers, the three people that annoyed me the most are now gone and two of them had fatal attraction down to a tee.

Lauren. Backstab much? Catty effin bitch. Good Jesus. She'd kick puppies to get that ass. Kristian. Not so much a bunny boiler as an "I'll slit my wrists to get your attention" kind of girl. That girl moves faster than Michael Vick picking up soap in the shower. There's this thing called "mystery" that's kind of attractive when dating. Look into it. Melissa (Mel B). Oooooh sweetheart. Dear God I hope this has given you an ounce of self-esteem. Nuff said.

So, now there are, what, four girls left? I don't know them. He's weeded out the drama queens and left me with 4 girls I have no opinion of, except maybe Malissa. She's kinda full of herself sometimes. Jury is still out.

I'm tired. It's been a very trying week of introspection and realization. Will possibly broach those subjects tomorrow. Must. Sleep. Now.

Who's my bitch?

Dinners my bitch. I went downstairs last night and assessed what was being cooked. Fried potatoes, pork cutlets, and salad. I stared at it for a minute. I could eat the potatoes, but, no wait, they're probably cooked in a bunch of butter. I could have a pork cutlet, ooooh look at that, cooked in butter. At this point I wasn't even sure the salad didn't have butter on it, but I was going to give it the benefit of the doubt. I opened the freezer and pulled out a Black Bean Chipotle Gardenburger. I cooked it in a little olive oil (good fat doncha know). I put a little of my jalapeno hummus on a greek pita, put the Gardenburger on it and Mmmmm. I had that and a salad with light honey mustard dressing. I sat by myself and ate. I didn't want to sit and watch Mom and Dad eat their dinner. I'm not in control enough not to hate them for it. When it came time for dessert and Mom and Dad had ice cream...I had a Luna bar.

As I sat there eating all I could think about was being in control again. With every bite I thought about the choices I had just made and I was proud of myself. It would have been so easy to let Mom dish up a plate for me and eat what was put in front of me. It would have been so easy to keep heading down the wrong path instead of forging down the right path.

After dinner I went to my room. I'm in here almost all day every day that I'm home. It's just easier that way. I have computers, TV, Wii (contemplating mini fridge at this point) and not surrounded by bad food. I know myself. If I'm sitting downstairs being bored then I will fixate on what might be in the kitchen that I could eat. Up here? I get busy doing something like Wii or writing (ok, and maybe FaceBook) and don't think about it that much (I might also be so lazy that the thought of having to go downstairs to get something to eat takes the appeal out of it for me, but I'm not yet comfortable with admitting that). I sat watching TV and a commercial came on for More To Love. Anyone? It's a "dating show for the rest of us." It's The Bachelor for us larger folk. Have you ever watched The Bachelor and thought, "I could so knock those other bitches out of the running if I was a size 2?" No? Oh, guess that was just me. Well, either way, now you can. Should be controversial. Skinny people must be cringing realizing that fat is the new black. Either that or they're celebrating the fact that they can eat now. Here, I gotta pork cutlet with your name on it.