5 years not forgotten

Before I embark on this post, you have to first reminisce with an oldie, but goodie.

Circa 2014

Where we're at. I am a freelance graphic designer and I work out of my home. It's still the house connected to mom and dad, but I am surviving and paying my bills by being self-employed. On January 17th I am getting on a plane and going to Belfast, Northern Ireland (with a layover in London so...doesn't that count as two?). I'm staying two weeks and spending as much time with someone that I've met as possible. I haven't lost 200 pounds (or the one twelve by oh twelve that I wanted to), but I have lost 30. I haven't learned another language, but I still have a couple years.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to believe you can do something. To imagine the things you want for your life and to set out to achieve them. You cannot reach goals without trying. You cannot make dreams a reality without taking action.

I'm keeping this one short and sweet. I know I don't post often. I've been a busy kid. Perhaps while I'm in Belfast I'll have juicy gossip to spread across the blogosphere. Happy New Year, everyone.

Circa 2014

She slices her apple much the way she has since she was allowed to hold a knife; cutting it first in half and then coring it. The difference now being the craving of something as simple as an apple instead of a bag of chips or a pint of ice cream. As she reaches to get a plate she notices the colors of her stained glass window dancing on the front of the cupboard door as the sun peeks through the trees. Sitting at the small table in her kitchen she drinks a glass of water and enjoys every bite of her post-workout apple. Her body is conflicted; weak from lifting weights, but energized from the cardio. With too much to do before she leaves town for yet another trip abroad, she bounds up the stairs to get to work.

Her studio is bright and full of color. Formerly her attic, it now houses large layout tables, computers, printers, a copier, and art supplies the likes of which she'd only dreamed of as a kid. She has a personal assistant 3 days a week to help her keep everything in order, but today she was on her own. With two deadlines looming, she needed to make this a very productive day. Being a freelance Graphic Designer and a writer takes up a lot of her time, but she finds that she works well under pressure and loves the variety of creative outlets that both undertakings afford her. She turns on some music and sits down at the computer that faces a window. She's got a great view of the lake from here and she's hoping it brings inspiration.

Her mind is clear. Her workouts often do that for her. She's happier than she's ever been and living a life she'd never had the courage to even dream of before. She's doing the work she loves, traveling, living comfortably, and she's no longer defined by the word "obese." She's strong. She's confident. She's fierce.

She's me...circa 2014.

I promised an update on my 5 year plan. This was my way of updating you. In five years I will have been to at least 3 different countries, I will have learned at least one language, I will have lost at least 200 pounds. In five years I will have written a book, even if it hasn't been published. In five years I will live in a place of my own again. Whether it's rented or purchased, I don't know, but I will live in a home not an apartment. In five years I will be making a living as a Graphic Designer and, if the God's are with me, a writer. I will be strong. I will be confident. I will be fierce...in five years.

Five years. 260 weeks. 1,825 days. 2,333,000 minutes.

A few years ago someone I worked with was talking about working on the five year plan for the company. I never understood the "five year plan" concept. The "Where do you see yourself in five years" question has always seemed stupid to me. My life has always been the same and for so long I felt like it always would be. I was never the little girl that fantasized about her future wedding because I never thought anyone would want me. I've never been the person that fixated on what her life could be like because it was too painful to realize it might never be. You see, MY life, was not my own. MY life was in someone else's hands. I would simply go through the motions as if a roll of someone else's dice determined my next move. It wasn't until recently that I realized that I have a say in it. My destiny is what I make it.

I was at Starbucks last weekend before class and as I waited for my Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte chalk full of fat and whip cream (don't judge me) I saw a book. On the cover of it was a de-bossed number 5. I looked closer and it said "Where will you be five years from today?" Interesting enough. There was a paper wrapping on the front that said, "The greatest day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. The gift of life is yours--it is an amazing journey--and you get to determine the quality of it. Live the next five years on purpose. Now is the time. Imagine the possibilities. Go places, have adventures, make a real difference, do what you love. Follow your dreams, they know the way." I got chills. Here I was coming out of a very dark place and these words couldn't have meant more. I opened it up and saw "DECIDE what's next in your life and STRATEGIZE how to get it." Well, fuck me. SOLD! I got back in line and bought the book. It's been sitting on my desk ever since because I wanted to wait until classes were over before getting into it. Classes were over Saturday and now it's time to strategize. To make my five year plan. To live my life on purpose.

The book itself isn't very intense. It's full of inspirational quotes and aids in doing things like determining your values and writing a mission statement. It asks you which 5 people support you the most and would help you reach your goals. It asks you when the last time was that you did something for the first time. An easy enough read if not for all the thought provoking that it does. I'll keep you posted, natch.

"Don't say you don't have enough time. you have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein." -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.