Monday, November 20, 2006

The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away

Whatever freakish testing phenomenon happened when my blood was taken caused a false negative. Either that or my blood changes it's mind more than, well, a woman. Prior to my last entry I tested at 90. Totally acceptable. Then I got all kinds of blood work done at my yearly (I think you know what I mean) and it came back 114. Grrrr. Foiled again. They wrote down on my results that I should call and schedule an appointment "to discuss". I did my usual internet research and determined that 114 is still considered Pre-Diabetes. I'm not scheduling an appointment (paying for an appointment rather) just to be given the same schpeel they gave me 2 years ago. What's she gonna tell me that I don't already know? That I need to lose weight? That I need to exercise? That I need to eat differently? That if I don't I'm going to get Type II Diabetes and potentially go blind? Lose a limb? DIE? I’m oh so crystal clear on that little tid-bit of knowledge. That little nugget of wisdom is in the vault people…it just doesn't seem to MATTER.

Dustina and I worked out 2 or 3 times a week in October and then in November we were both so stinkin busy that we haven't worked out once. I've done it on my own a few times, but again…stinkin busy. Tack on having had the flu AND a cold within a matter of a few weeks and working out hasn't really been on the top of my list of to do's. Also, there is an equation that rings true for me more often than not. If B equals Busy and P equals Poor...B + P = FAT. Not only do I not have the time to cook a healthy meal, but I don't have the fundage to purchase said food to cook. I end up rollin through a Taco Bell drive through in my frenzy to get home and get things accomplished. I TRY to go to a Subway instead, it just doesn't usually work out that way.

This is also the first time in YEARS that I have stayed home on Halloween and had to deal with candy buying and that whole demonic ritual. I had no idea how many kids I'd get in my apartment complex so bought plenty. I didn't get one single knock on my door (unless they came while I was vacuuming) thus leaving me with 3 bags of chocolate. Three bags of chocolate that I put a healthy dent in before taking it into the office where the vultures laid wait. I even went so far as to bury my scale in the back of the closet because I just couldn't bare to see the damage I was doing.

As of Friday I've started counting points again, though I'm not sure why I didn't wait until after Thanksgiving. I've got some fancy schmancy spreadsheet set up in Excel to track it all. I think it'll be easier to track points this time because for the last month or two my breakfasts and snacks have been virtually the same every day. My lunches are usually Subway or something else easy to track. It's just dinner that will be all the work. My scale is back out of the closet so I can face the music and hold myself accountable. Luckily Halloween didn't cause as much ruin as I had anticipated. I can easily pick up where I left off and make some big things happen. Maybe I should put my food journals online. If people can actually SEE what I'm eating how can I not do well? The question then becomes…how honest will I be? Will I confess every last bite of ice cream, every trip to Taco Bell? Hmmmm…maybe that's exactly what I need to do. Stay tuned!