So, check it. Sunday my sister and I made our first '07 jaunt over to the beach. It has become custom since I got my convertible that she come over, we get topless (Hello? Did you catch the convertible portion of this sentence? You dirty bird!), head to Cannon Beach and have lunch at the Warren House Pub. They have a perfectly fetching little garden where you can bring your dogs and nosh. OK, I'm getting off track. My point is that when we left the beach I had a moment. Last year when we were there I was completely out of breath when I made my way through the looser portions of sand that greet you when you make your way to the water. This time I noticed as we were leaving that not only had I not broken a sweat, but I wasn't hyperventilating. Hell, I wasn't out of breath even a little. This is monumental.
After lunch we went on a gorgeous drive up to Astoria and over to Washington. I was so diggin' this day. The weather could not have been more perfect, I was stoked about my lack of hyperventilation on the beach, the view was stunning, the top was down, the music was cranked...ah yes, the music. A song came on that caused me to get the chills. In it they say "This is your life...are you who you want to be?" It was all I could do not to shout out a resounding "Helllllll NO!" Did I not just post about letting my light shine and living my life as I see fit? Creepy. I am SO far from who I want to be. I am; however, currently edging ever so closely to a path that will completely change my life. I'm doing what I need to do to lose weight, I'm not letting people walk on me anymore, I'm even looking to change careers (still keeping that on the double downlow).
The song went on to ask if your life is everything you dreamed it would be. Ohmigod, No! And why? My weight. Point blank. It has held me back from doing almost every single thing I've wanted to do. It's almost got me hesitant to try for this career change. Ok for God's sake. You just don't look pretty when you beg. I want to start bartending. I want to go take a 2 week class that teaches you all you need to know and then start bartending. Why am I hesitant? Because I don't want to spend the money for the class and then not be able to get a job because of my size. I've got personality on lock down. As for ability...I won't be getting all Coyote Ugly on their asses, but I'm anticipating I'll be pretty damn good at it. I want to score a gig that will pay enough to eventually be able to quit the day job and focus more on my home business (which just scored two shops that want to carry my cards). The best way to make good tips is a busy place like a club. Now, I don't frequent that of the club that often, but I know damn well that I haven't seen any hefty bartender chicks schlepping drinks to and fro. I see super cute skinny chicks willing to shake their asses on the bar and flash tatas for days. Oh wait, tatas I've got. I am so IN THERE!
So, what have we learned today? Basically, if your life isn't what you want it to be...shut up and change it. Don't sit there and whine about it and hope for better days. Don't continue going through the motions until you're 10 years older and wishing you had back ANOTHER decade. Don't continue to wake up every morning agonizing over the day ahead of you. We all deserve to look forward to going to work. Love yourself enough to find out what will make you happy and make it happen. Over and out!