Saturday, October 10, 2009

Life raft anyone?

I'm struggling. Big time. I'm hardly sleeping, hardly eating, hardly keeping my head above water. I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm stressed. I'm...drowning.

School is fucking insane. I haven't weighed since the gain of a couple weeks ago. Insertnamehere and I haven't seen each other in two weeks and it's likely not going to change anytime soon. Sadly, that's not so much my fault as it is his. He's just as busy as I am and, well, I'm/we/this is on the back burner for a while so that he can sort some things out. I miss him. I miss the escape that spending time with him provided. I miss how he calms me and right now, I need a lot of calming. I'm on edge. I'm going to snap. I'm scheduling a breakdown for about 1:30 this afternoon. Should be fun.

On that note, back to homework. It's all I do these days. All day, and often all night. All week and all weekend. Mama needs a break, but not for another 8 weeks. FML.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Don't judge me

Didn't weigh in this week.
Haven't been to the gym this week.
Not especially proud of how I've eaten this week.
Wednesday night I only got 2.5 hours of sleep because I was up all night doing homework.
Thursday night wasn't much better.
This weekend will be more of the same.

Before you judge me, take a second to ponder how it might feel for me to punch you in the neck for doing so.
Carry on.