Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Devil with a green dress

They come to your workplace, they stand post outside your local grocery store, they even stand outside some video stores. Before you know it they'll be outside your gym, taunting you through the window while you crank up the incline on that treadmill. You know who I mean. It's those frickin Girl Scouts and their dagblasted cookies. They're everywhere!

In the event you should triumphantly manage to ward off eye contact with the little crumb snatchers on the way INTO the store you can almost guarantee that they will tag-team you on the way out. You'll flash back to your tortured youth when you too had to sport the badge laden sash and schlep cookies around the neighborhood. You'll sympathize with their plight and just as you pull out your wallet and start to order 5 boxes from the little darlings you see your reflection in the window and start to sweat. You see the Samoas going straight to your butt, the Tagalongs to your thighs and the thin mints...please, that's an oxymoron if ever I did hear one. You clutch your wallet in your arm like a runningback at the Superbowl. Fake left, fake right, you stiff arm the little vixens and RUNNNNNNNNNN!

I can't say I was as successful this year in warding off the aforementioned rosy cheeked saboteurs. A month or more ago the granddaughter of the president of my company came in with puppy dog eyes ablazin'. No pressure there. I was fully out of the zone and 4 boxes later here I sit dreading the day they arrive at the office. Yesterday someone at the office who clearly hadn't mastered their stiff arm technique had all their cookies spread out in the kitchen. I walked in and with clenched fists in the air I screamed "Noooooo!" I took two, tracked my points, and ate them. Evil.

I've decided that when my 4 boxes get here I will immediately put them in the freezer where they will stay for another month before I even let myself have one. Then, if I've been doing well on my diet and if the points allow it, I will treat myself to a COUPLE. Not a box, not an entire roll of thin mints but a COUPLE of cookies.

Monday, February 14, 2005

In the words of Emeril...

it's time to kick it up a notch. I've been slacking...there's no denying it. This 2 pound teeter totter is by no means due to a plateau, no, it's all me. I haven't been keeping track of my points. I haven't been exercising. I haven't been eating healthy. I haven't the zone! Taco Bell and I have become friends again and after re-reading all my blog entries I'm ready to call this self-destructive relationship off. We must go our separate ways...there's no other choice I'm afraid. It's not you, it's me...I just have no self-control. Let Valentine's Day mark the beginning of my renewed devotion to, well, ME!

The bad news? I'm broke, the food in the house is minimal, and I don't get paid for another 4 days. The good news? Well, there is no good news but I'm going to give it a shot anyway. No more screwin’ around people! The vacation is over! Other people have jumped on the Kelly bus and are losing weight too. I can't let them pass me up because I'm a big ol' slacker. There will BE none of that. I've taken a new position at work and once it takes effect I'll get to move around much more instead of sitting at a desk all day. Lola is close to being allowed to go on walks with me. The gym has been calling my name lately and by God I'm going to start answering. I'm going to go in there and bust ass and make them impressed by what this big girl can do. "You go girl's" will be running rampant in that joint.

I miss the days of getting on the scale KNOWING I was going to lose. Now it's a hoping and praying kind of thing because I know I haven't been doing well. Any loss is an act of God not hard work on my part. So, tonight I will go to Weight Watchers, take whatever the scale gives me and know that next week it WILL be down significantly because I WILL have put in the work. Zone or no zone...I will do this. I don't have a choice. I'm tired of being disappointed in myself. A few months ago I was constantly amazed and impressed by the choices I was making and the rewards it gave me. Why does what was so easy for me then seem so hard (again) for me now?

I need a game plan...a plan of attack.

1. Exercise, exercise, exercise!

2. If going certain places makes it easy for me to eat badly, don't go there that often. And if I am going there, eat before I go.

3. Gain an undeniable understanding that whatever food I am about to cave on is going to be there another day. Taco Bell isn't closing it's borders, Ben & Jerry are not refusing to milk another cow and Flying Pie Pizza will be hand-tossing their dough for years to come. By opting to make a good decision and not eat something I'm confronted with one day does not mean I will never get it again. If anything, it'll promise me more years down the road to enjoy those things once in a while. I'll feel much better about myself after turning it down then I will after I eat it and hate myself for giving in.

4. Drink water, drink water, drink water.

4 simple ways to succeed. There are many more things I can do but I think sticking to those 4 things will have me well on my way. So, count today as my last hoorah and tomorrow...I'm back to being a BIG LOSER!!!