Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Devil with a green dress

They come to your workplace, they stand post outside your local grocery store, they even stand outside some video stores. Before you know it they'll be outside your gym, taunting you through the window while you crank up the incline on that treadmill. You know who I mean. It's those frickin Girl Scouts and their dagblasted cookies. They're everywhere!

In the event you should triumphantly manage to ward off eye contact with the little crumb snatchers on the way INTO the store you can almost guarantee that they will tag-team you on the way out. You'll flash back to your tortured youth when you too had to sport the badge laden sash and schlep cookies around the neighborhood. You'll sympathize with their plight and just as you pull out your wallet and start to order 5 boxes from the little darlings you see your reflection in the window and start to sweat. You see the Samoas going straight to your butt, the Tagalongs to your thighs and the thin mints...please, that's an oxymoron if ever I did hear one. You clutch your wallet in your arm like a runningback at the Superbowl. Fake left, fake right, you stiff arm the little vixens and RUNNNNNNNNNN!

I can't say I was as successful this year in warding off the aforementioned rosy cheeked saboteurs. A month or more ago the granddaughter of the president of my company came in with puppy dog eyes ablazin'. No pressure there. I was fully out of the zone and 4 boxes later here I sit dreading the day they arrive at the office. Yesterday someone at the office who clearly hadn't mastered their stiff arm technique had all their cookies spread out in the kitchen. I walked in and with clenched fists in the air I screamed "Noooooo!" I took two, tracked my points, and ate them. Evil.

I've decided that when my 4 boxes get here I will immediately put them in the freezer where they will stay for another month before I even let myself have one. Then, if I've been doing well on my diet and if the points allow it, I will treat myself to a COUPLE. Not a box, not an entire roll of thin mints but a COUPLE of cookies.

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