Friday, April 21, 2006

I'm gaining more than I bargained for

A lot has happened in the last couple weeks. My weight is teetering back and forth. One week I do well, one week I don’t. I’ve been working out with a new trainer (love her) once a week for the last couple months and I’ve gotten nowhere. Thanks to stress and my emotional eating issues I’ve been putting food away like I’m preparing for Y2K and the working out has simply kept me from gaining pound upon pound. What I have gained, though, is an immense amount of perspective.

Last weekend I was confronted by the fact that my parents are not going to be here forever. My parents no longer wear the superhero garb they donned when I was little. As they are sneaking up on 60 I wonder where I’ve been the last 20 years. I mean I’m vaguely aware that birthdays have been happening, but I didn’t grasp the fact that they were also getting older. I guess I just expect them to always be there and I don’t appreciate it when someone or something tries to prove otherwise.

It’s odd that someone can have a dozen things go wrong with their health and, though concerned, nothing makes as big an impact as the word “lump”. In my family that word really only means one thing. In my family there isn’t a worse 4-letter word in the book. Luckily, this time, the 4-letter word was a false alarm.

I was laying in bed last night thinking about the last few weeks and the impact bad news would have had on the family and it made me start to ponder my own invincibility. It’s been almost a year since I found out I was pre-diabetic and I’ve done virtually nothing about it because in my head…I’ll be just fine. I flirt with a heart attack every day, but I know it could NEVER happen to ME. I think it’s time to get my priorities in order. I think it’s time to stop writing about what I’m going to do and actually DO IT. I think it’s time I realized that most superhero garb is made of spandex and at my size…I just can’t pull that off. I think it’s time to find that girl that wanted to be fierce. Here goes.

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