Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Batten down the hatches!

According to Wikipedia (love), the DEFense readiness CONdition (DEFCON) is a measure of the activation and readiness level of the United States Armed Forces. During peacetime, we here in the ol' U.S. of A. are at DEFCON 5 and the number decreases with the severity of the situation. To put a little perspective on it, during the September 11 attacks we only made it to DEFCON 2. There is no record of the U.S. ever reaching DEFCON 1.

Ladies and gentlemen, Operation Shrink A Bootie is at DEFCON 1. We are at war. Rally the troops and batten down the hatches cuz we're comin' in hot! The target? Fat. Rally point? My ass. Mission? Destroy the enemy and leave no evidence of its existence. Modern day civilian translation? Make fat my bitch!

It has become apparent that all previous methods of defense were inadequate. All ground we may have gained with those tactics has officially been lost. Luckily, the enemy has not defeated us. We will prevail!

In other words, my meeting last night proved as tragic as expected. I'm weighing in at 366. I know, I know. Dressed, after eating all day, water retention, holiday, yada yada yada. Regardless, I've pretty much gained everything back...again. What is my plan of attack? I'm going to treat my weight loss with the same tenacity as I do my education. I am a 4.0 student and refuse to accept less than that. I put my all into my grades and making sure that I excel in this program. I'm going above and beyond the call of duty on most assignments and paying ridiculous attention to detail. I'm focused. I'm determined. I'm driven.

Monday nights I have my new Weight Watchers meeting. Tuesday and Thursday (for this upcoming term anyway) I'll have class from 8am to 9pm (roughly) and who knows when I'll be pimping videos. I'm going to schedule my exercise just like I would my classes and consider attendance points vital to my grade. Journaling and meal planning are my homework. If I want to keep my 4.0 then I not only have to do the homework, but get the answers right. I may not pass every test, but it's the overall effort and understanding of the material that determines my grade. It's the extra credit, the participation, and the willingness to learn from my mistakes.

This is the most important class of my life. I cannot fail this one. This class affects the rest of my life and the success I have in it. I WILL be on the Dean's List! Hoorah!


CJ said...

That's a great idea. Don't think that would work for me cuz I hate school! But, sounds like it is just the thing to kick your ass in gear!

Good luck girl. Keep us informed!!

Fngrcufs said...

Well, babe, I will be with you in the foxhole. My scale and I met in the bathroom yesterday, and instead of averting my eyes and pretending I didn't see it, I decided it was time to step on up. Without the officially official pomp and circumstance of my WW meeting next week as confirmation, you and I are exactly the same weight. Which means that I too have gained it all back. But I am ready to unleash hell on the fat. I am going to be all cobra commando and shit. Know why? Some chick I know was like "2009 is the year. Going to lose 100 pounds, at least." Seemed like a fucking plan. Hoorah!

Dani said...

Loved your post...even a history and military lesson included!! :o)

Your comparison of your weight loss efforts to your education is something I have thought about as well. I went back to school last year and I wanted As! In everything. So what did I do? Everything it freeking took to get those As! Why I couldn't transfer that same dedication to weight loss who knows but change is in the wind!

Throw your passion at all aspects of your life and you'll be a rockin success!!

Happy New Year!

Carlos said...

that's what i'm talkin' about Whup that Trick!

Stages of Change said...

Glad I found your blog. Great post. It really is a war, so hell yea, here's to making fat your bitch in 09!

Sophia said...

Now that's the Kel that I know and love!! Rock on girlfriend and Happy New Year!!

Karen (Katschi) said...

I believe you!
If I was the Fat...I'd be scaaaaared.

Losing Waist! said...

Wow, I was just reading back in your blog and I was laughing out loud (not at you but WITH you) because you are hilarious!

You can kick fat's ass! Kick it!

I look forward to following your blog!

Clay said...

Funny, but I think too many women stress out about their butts.