Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Pomp and Circumstance

What's the tally, ho?
Up 2.7
Total 9.2

In other news...I got an email from my school that informed me that I would, in fact, be graduating with honors. That I would be allowed to wear the chords around my neck signifying my super smart status at the commencement ceremony. One must have a GPA of 3.75 or higher to attain such fashionable duds. One problem...I'm not partaking in the graduation ceremonies (much to my mother's dismay).

When you grow up my size you don't look forward to landmark events the way normal girls do. I had no desire to go to prom, the homecoming dance was more agony than fun, I never spent hours upon hours dreaming of a future wedding and I sure as hell never wanted to dawn a giant robe in front of thousands and parade across a stage. I did it in high school for my parents. I don't think they knew how much I didn't want to do it and how hard it was for me. As much as it seems to mean to my mom that I do it, at almost 34 years old, I've decided once is enough...honor chords or not.

It's not a matter of letting my weight hold me back from doing something I really want to. I'd much rather just have a party and move forward. There is no part of me that wants to do this...skinny or not. Sorry, mom, but it's just not going to happen.

I worked on moving into my studio over the weekend and worked there for a few hours yesterday before I had to do other things. It will be awkward at first I'm sure. I didn't head there until around 11 and everyone was working away. I didn't want to interrupt anyone to introduce myself and was only there for about three hours so the only two people I met were the girls in my immediate area. They will be moving out in a couple weeks. I didn't go today, but tomorrow I will make a point to meet someone new.

As for the weight gain. I know, lame. I really need to keep my sodium intake in check and there's a couple things seriously lacking from my diet...fruits and veggies. Must overhaul.


Heather (aka Auntie) said...

Hey girl - congrats on graduating with honors!! That is fantastic. And I hear you on being a grown woman and making decisions based on what YOU want to do, not what everyone else wants you to do. I just turned 43 and I still feel like I have the decision making powers of a 12 year old sometimes - especially where my mother is involved.

Keep up the blog; it certainly can be frustrating sometimes when you think that no one is reading it, but we're out here - I promise!!

Tricia said...

That's awesome, Kelly! What an accomplishment :)

I remember those feelings at my high school graduation. They had to bring over a special gown for me because they didn't have my size when I went to pick one up. It sucked showing up the DAY of graduation and just hoping they showed up with it and that it would please please pleeeease fit. Ugh. All for like two sweaty hours in an auditorium and like 20 steps on a stage that I feared the stability of to begin with.

It's not about the ceremony, it's about what you do with what you've learned. And I know you'll do a lot. No cap and gown necessary.