Friday, November 26, 2004

Please pass the gravy!

Thanksgiving...the word in and of itself seems fairly harmless. We were raised to believe that this is a day to give thanks. Thanks for your health, your family, and the roof over your head. It's a day to come together and spend time with family and friends some of which you really only see during the holidays. It's a day of parades and football. It's a sign that Christmas is near and people begin to sport some of that holiday cheer.

OH PLEASE!! That may have worked when I was about 8 but I'm on to you now. I started becoming one with my contempt for this holiday when, in my twenties, I was still sitting at the kid's table getting gravy slathered on my new outfit by 4 year olds. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to see all the family again, but come on don't give me that "Day to be Thankful" crap. I'm thankful for the above mentioned things all year long but ya know dang well THIS day is strictly an excuse to come together and eat like it is the last meal you will EVER digest. It's a competition to see who can claim bragging rights as Most Likely To Utter "OOooooh I ate too much." People specifically plan to wear elastic waistbands on this day so that there is NOTHING holding them back from pure gluttony. And don't get me started on all the men that run to watch football while all the women clean up.

You want me to be thankful? Ok, I got some thanks for ya...

Thanks to the gravy that is clogging my arteries.

Thanks to the pumpkin pie ever so efficiently raising my blood sugar.

Thanks to the Turkey causing a nice Tryptophan coma.

Thanks to the Mashed Potatoes & Stuffing sitting in my stomach like a brick.

And last but not least,

Thanks to the Green Bean Casserole that will soon find a nice home on my thighs.

Every year I am freaked out the entire week before T day by the amount of food I will be confronted with and making the "right" choices. Then the day comes and voila...every plan of attack is derailed by every sight, every smell, every offer of food. So how did I do THIS year? Well, the Monday before I was cornered by a fairly vicious dessert. I'm pretty sure I saw it picking it's teeth with the remains of the last overweight person caught in it's path but I looked that pumpkin pie in the eye and I said "You are a visitor here. You are merely passing through. You will NOT find comfort in the recesses of my fat cells." As for the day itself...I reigned supreme over all things previously found intimidating. I filled up on a veggie tray before I even dished up the dangerous stuff and though my plate was pretty full after taking a little of this and a little of that...I couldn't even eat half of it. Praise the Lord my stomach has shrunk. The really bad things I took only a couple bites of and instead of another pumpkin pie fiasco I brought a low point dessert for everyone to eat. Afterall, I had to hold myself accountable again this morning when I weighed in and I'd rather take credit for a success than a failure. And this WAS a success. Another 2 pounds down.

So what if I missed out on lots of the things I would have eaten in the past. I am not the girl I used to be. I am 23 pounds lighter than the girl I used to be and I didn't get there eating the way I used to eat. There's a saying that goes "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." I can't say I know what being thin feels like but I can say that there was nothing on that table worth gaining for. Going backwards means I wasted not just one week but two because the next week will be spent trying to lose what I gained the week before instead of continuously moving forward to my goal. So I stick my tongue out to this piddly little thing we call Thanksgiving and say "Bring it on, Christmas".

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