Friday, November 12, 2010

Calorie King

blink. blink. blink.
I woke up and went next door to...wait, they'll wonder why I go next door to pee.

blink. blink. blink.
My bathroom...no, they don't really know I have a bathroom of my own yet, let alone that it's been undergoing remodeling for three months. Yes, three months. That's what happens when you let your brother...sigh, nevermind.

blink. blink. blink.
I moved into the house connected to...cheese and rice my brain is scattered this morning.

OK, I've been staring that this dagblasted blinking cursor for eons now trying to calm my brain and find a place to start and as you can see...epic fail.

Around the time of graduation, I worked on fixing up the house connected to mom and dad and summarily moved into it. No more stuff in storage. No more dealing with dad 24/7 or hiding in my little bedroom to avoid it. A slight, albeit modified, sense of freedom. Not having a job means I still rely on them for groceries/meals, that I'm not paying rent right now, and that I still feel like crap for each and every part of it.

Three months ago my brother started remodeling the bathroom (for which we are going to leave out all the details so that I don't go postal on a gallon of ice cream) so that I might some day get to take a shower in my own part of the house. This involved taking everything out of the bathroom and now I not only shower at mom and dad's, but go to the bathroom there as well.

Hence, this morning's debacle. I woke up...late...again...SFD (shitfuckdamn, the swear word trifecta)...and made my way over to M&D's with sleep still in my eyes. I walked by the living room and heard, "Hey..." I moaned in recognition of the somewhat primal greeting from my father and waited to hear, "Is it too late for you to go get us some breakfast?" I told him no and got all FML (fuck my life, the quick and to the point pity party) in the bathroom. I considered being strong and only getting him his breakfast of sin and me a coffee, but alas...my resolve, commitment, and will power were all still sound asleep and I was on my own as I headed to the King of the Burger (who is also some how reigning over the breakfast sandwich). I ordered. I came home. I ate. I looked up the calories. Enter more FML...here.

BK Breakfast Muffin 400 cal
Sausage Biscuit 420 cal
Creamer in my coffee 70 cal
Total 890 cal

Holy Mother of God and all things right and beautiful in the world...that's some breakfast. The real ball buster is that I was going quite often to Mr. McDonald's and getting far more than that or going at lunch and getting down right obscene. Oy Vey and OMG (If you don't know that one by now, you might as well crawl back in your cave and dwell).

So, that's how my day is starting and it will be finishing with a lot of meal skippage. I am suppose to cook dinner again tonight and the recipe IS dieter friendly, but I will have to be some kind of wonderful to get to enjoy it.

As for the routine I outlined a couple days ago...If you bump everything about an hour or two down in the schedule, I'm doing just fine.

2 comments:

Big Auntie said...

Hey darlin',

Glad to see you blogging again. I can TOTALLY RELATE to your feelings right around now; been there, have the t-shirt and a memorial bench dedicated to me there. All I can say is you are pointing in the right direction; just keep taking baby steps, and enter another well-intentioned cliche here. My sister and I are both in the 200+lbs to lose club and we are currently following the Belly Fat Cure eating plan (I refuse to use the word diet in my life anymore). It seems to be working for us; we are both carb addicts but it seems to be working. Check out my blog for an update, since it's been about 8 weeks since I wrote anything on it, but I'm starting up again.

My move is complete and I am in Washington now, but I do get into the Portland area rather frequently. If you would like to get together sometime for some in person mutual encouragement, let me know!

Hang in there sweetie; I'm pulling for you.

Joy said...

Hey Miss Lady :) It's been a week since your last post so I just wanted to check on you and see how you're doing. I said I was going to be following you and that was no lie, lol. Hope things are good on your end! If you need someone to talk to, I'm here :) Happy Thanksgiving!