Truancy

noun:

a student who stays away from school without leave or explanation.

It's true. I've been playing hookey. Not from my "legit" classes, although I haven't been particularly enthused about them, I've not missed even one and am doing fairly well. It's the gym. When this term started I decided to try and treat the gym and weight loss and watching what I'm eating like a class because I put everything into my education. I thought I could put that same tunnel visioned focus towards the gym and kick some serious ass.

And that's what I did, at first. Now? Now I am experiencing some difficulty. I signed up to cook Monday through Thursday so that I could have more control over what we were eating. I got so tired of my dad turning up his nose at the simplest meals (even if he inevitably liked them) or hearing about how he's had to eat chicken twice a week that I've gone on strike. I haven't cooked in a couple weeks which has been affecting how calorie counting has been going.

Last week I only went to the gym on Tuesday and this week? Haven't been yet. Part of it is trying to go to my studio space a few times a week and this week it's because the last two days I've been hanging out with a boy. Lame. I've got this tool (the Bodybugg) to help me keep it all in check and I'm not even making the most of it the last couple weeks. I've been lucky to meet my burn a couple times a week let alone every day. It ends...here.

On the days that I go to my office I need to make sure I get up earlier so that I can leave early enough to still come home and cook dinner. I need to make sure I have the meals planned by Friday so that my mom can get the groceries over the weekend and I'm good to go for the week. I need to adjust which days I go to the gym so it doesn't affect that and start using the Wii more to offset not being able to get to the gym quite as often. I can juggle all of this. I have to...people do it all the time and I am not going to use living life as an excuse to fall back into my old patterns.

The sun is shining and I have a ton of homework to get done today, but I will put the top down, drive to the gym, and get in a weigh in and a workout. You'll be hearing from me again soon.

Beached

What's the tally, ho?

Weight = 358.1 (sorry, no pic. Left phone in car)

Down 3.1

Total 11.9

Managed a miracle considering I was at the beach all weekend.

Things have been a little crazy since I last posted. Wednesday got away from me after dealing with unemployment, doing homework, having my phone call with a Bodybugg coach, running to school to pick up some funds, and so on. Never made it to the gym.

Thursday was a designated day off so that I could run errands (like Whole Foods Market and Trader Joe's) and go check out the potential office space. I am in love with it and hoping a spot opens soon. They think I'll fit in well there and it sounds like it's all mine if I want it. Yes, please. It will be so awesome to run my business from a legit place and then be able to shut it all off and go home and relax (most of the time). New chapters, new life, new everything.

Friday I had class and then headed to the beach until Sunday. I had no internet save for what I could get with my Blackberry. It was so nice. I could sit on the couch at the beach house and see the ocean through the sliding glass doors. The weather was great and the door was open most of the time and I could listen to the waves crashing on the shore. I'm blessed to live in a place as beautiful as Oregon. We played a lot of games and watched movies. Consequently, I didn't get any homework done and yesterday was chaos as I tried to dial it all in before a midnight deadline. Whew!

I was pretty shocked at weigh in after all I ate over the weekend and the fact that I didn't count one calorie for three days. I decided not to worry about it while gone since I wouldn't be able to access all my info on the Bodybugg site with no internet. I was ok with it, but it made getting back into the swing of things a little more difficult. I really really have to watch what I eat and do this week because all these great weight losses are going to result in something not so pretty next week. I will have to drink tons of water and hope for the best. Scratch that, I will have to work my butt off (literally).

Oh, Bodybugg, how you spin me.

What's the tally, ho?

Down 2.8.

Sweet! Take that, Aunt Flo.

On another note, I thought I'd delve into what I've learned after one week of using the Bodybugg. The most important thing I've learned? I've been starving myself. Not so much during my months of hibernation that I partake in on occasion (read: most of the time), but more so during the times that I think I'm on track. Shall I explain? Good.

Our bodies burn a certain amount of calories just existing. We use a certain amount of energy just breathing, pumping blood, digesting, looking pretty, etc. It's a wonderful lil' thing known as BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate). The more you weigh, the more your body has to work to do these simple tasks so the more calories you burn just, well, existing. Most of us know this. We also know that if you start moving you're burning more calories. Simple. The more you move, the more calories you burn. Also simple. With me so far? Good.

If you've been trying to lose weight for any length of time or done much reading on it, you know that when you exercise consistently you start raising your metabolism. You start burning calories faster and more efficiently burning the fuel (food) that you put into your body. What I didn't realize, is just how quickly that change can take place. In my mind this was a long drawn out process over months and months of hard work. Well, look at these screenshots from my Bodybugg readings.

I started working out on Monday of last week so I had already started the boost before I got my Bodybugg. In these readings, though, I went to the gym the first three days and then again yesterday (the last reading). My workouts weren't exactly the same, but they were not that different from day to day. I did about 45 minutes of cardio each of those days and very light resistance on all but Wednesday I think it was. You can see that my burn for the day gradually increased despite the workout being the same because I was being consistent and it kept my calorie burn high. Then, on Friday, it was still high enough to meet my daily burn requirements even though I didn't workout; however, it decreased more every day I didn't workout.

Here's where starving comes in. Look at Thursday. I burned 4,430 calories that day. If you're on some crazy 1,200 calorie diet and burning 4,430 calories a day your body is going to think it's starving. Maybe not at first, at first you'll drop pounds like a mofo, but eventually your body is going to say, "WTF, yo? 1,200? Did you get picked for the cast of Survivor and not tell me? I can't even pump your blood for 1,200 let alone keep you breathing. I'm obv. gonna have to stockpile that shit because I PPH (pink puffy heart) you and don't want you to keel over." And so it begins. You stop losing weight and you whine (and perhaps even wine) and workout harder burning even more calories and eating less and still don't lose what you think you should. At this point you're lucky your hair isn't falling out because you're verging on anorexic and still...hardly losing. Then you eat a burger and fries and lose 5 pounds and don't understand it.

Eat. Eat carbs, eat fat, eat protein, eat fiber. Get your calories in SENSIBLY. Don't boycott something because your body needs all of it. If you workout harder you'll need more food. Whether a Pinto or a Porsche you still need fuel to run.

Note: I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. I am also often wrong, but don't tell me so because this information, even if false, just might keep me on track for a while.

Simple Math to start the term

3500 calories = 1 pound

To lose one pound a week, I need to burn 500 more calories a day than I eat.

To lose two pounds a week, I need to burn 1000 more calories a day than I eat.

To lose three pounds a week, I need to burn 1500 more calories a day than I eat.

I think you see where this is going.

Burn, Baby, burn.

It all starts tomorrow!

How many calories do you burn wallowing in your own self-pity?

Though you would think laying in bed from 6 pm until 8 am tossing and turning, reeling from internal strife, fighting to sleep, unable to stop your brain from spinning would burn innumerable amounts of calories, the fact is...it won't. The chances of it doing you any good at all are about as good as my chances of winning the title of Miss. Fitness USA. Last night I went downstairs to eat dinner after my last entry and made the executive decision to not eat. I wasn't hungry. Instead, I came upstairs and crawled in bed. I wallowed. I stewed. I came up with all these things I should say, but likely won't. I came up with questions and made up my own answers. I toggled ever so efficiently between angry and sad. For those that think I'm a hot mess in need of medication, I'm not. This is just what I do when my life is in limbo. I think I've mentioned this before, but fat girls can't limbo. I like definitive answers. I like knowing where I stand and what's around the corner. I like having some sense of control. Yesterday I felt like I had none. Toss in the fact that the height of the limbo bar has been set by someone I care a lot about and this is the result.

He and I were supposed to talk last night; we didn't. After a few texts about how we WOULD be talking last night, I got one that said we wouldn't be. It was the last night that his cousin would be staying there and they were "talking about life." What I wanted to say in response was, "Don't call me for a while," or "Have another beer and fuck off." Instead, a simple "Goodnight, Insertnamehere." His name is nearly always replaced with a term of endearment when I address him, so, the simple fact that I used his name probably got my point across without me lowering myself to levels I'd regret. I figured I'd wait until this morning and see how I felt. This is progress for me. And what was the result? I took back some of the control. I determined what height the bar would be set today. I gave his indecisive "time out" the middle finger and told him that I didn't want to talk to him the rest of today, or tomorrow for that matter. I wasn't going to sit here waiting for texts or calls that likely wouldn't happen. He has company in town tonight so I doubt it's going to affect him all that much, but it made all the difference for me. He said everyone (company, cousin, daughter) would be gone tomorrow night and things would be more settled. That we could talk. He sounded sad. I hung up.

I started cleaning, frantically, if I may say so. Dust bunnies called for backup as I tore through my room on a mission. Cardio, no? I turned on the Wii and fired up My Fitness Trainer to put some time in with Maya. I almost threw a dumbbell at the screen as she nagged me about missing my sessions lately. Look, bitch, I've been checking in daily getting workout credit for what I've been doing at the gym. Just because I haven't wanted to workout with YOUR ass, does NOT a slacker make. I did a 30 minute workout with her that focused on flexibility. Now I'm all stretched out and ready for some limbo. Anyone?