Saturday, August 9, 2008

I've never had a Pina Colada,

but I'm not opposed to getting caught in the rain. Have you ever done a personal ad? SWF seeks SWM for LTR, ASAP? In this day and age, internet dating is all the rage, but how do you sell yourself when you're a BBW (big beautiful woman) when 80% of the men out there are looking for SLB's (skinny little bitches)? Well, if you're me it goes a little something like this...

I'm What Willis Was Talking About

First, and most importantly, my life is in a state of transition. Among the many aspects of my life that are a work in progress is the fact that I'm busting my tail to lose weight and live a healthier/better life. I'm very focused and very determined. YES, I'm a bbw, but I won't be forever. It's cool if you don't find me to be "relationship" material due to that, I get it. You should, however, hang with me if you find me at all appealing. After all, I'm kinda cute and in a year or so I'm kinda gonna be a big deal. :o) I'm just saying.

So, if you're still reading you probably want to know what else I'm about. I'm big into photography and art. I like the outdoors and camping/fishing. Hiking is big on my list of things to do once I lose a little more weight. We can go anyway, but if the incline is all stupid you might have to break out your CPR skills if I pass out or hyperventilate. I hit the gym 3-4 times a week and fit in walks and other stuff on the other days. I eat healthy 95% of the time. I will never give up ice cream/gelato (that's crazy talk), but my threesomes with Ben & Jerry are few and far between now. I crave great conversation...especially over yummy coffee. My friends and family find me highly entertaining and often cry from laughter. If we were to play Uno I would wipe the floor with you. Seriously, it would be embarrassing. I am allergic to chronic negativity, drama chasers, and perpetual stupidity...I'll likely break out in hives. I will cry at movies and I believe that laughter is best when it hurts. I am often found loitering at Starbucks, but my Dutch Brother from another mother scores far more points with me...if only they had places for me to sit and draw/read. I'm just a skosh sarcastic, but I can control it. I love dogs and sometimes tolerate cats. I have an often misunderstood Boston Terrier named Lola. I don't have kids, but like them (er, most of them). I sing in the car AND the shower. I like to go on drives on some of the old scenic highways that Oregon has to offer and often prefer it topless, but before you jump on that email, I only mean in my convertible beetle. I take care of myself and carry myself well, like a lady even. I even rock the pedicures and use yummy smelling lotions and perfume. I hate to state the obvious, but I'm kind of a catch. ;o)

If you can make me laugh, won't make me break out in hives and think I'm cute...shoot a girl an email with some pics.

I posted this little gem, along with a photo, on Craigslist. I decided that my sarcasm was my golden ticket...and it was. I seriously got a lot of responses. There was only one, though, that scored himself a date thus far. He and I started talking on Monday evening...the same day I posted the ad. A couple emails lead to chatting online, which lead to flirting until 2 am, which lead to talking on the phone until 4 am. Nice start, no? At 10:30 the next morning he called me before he even got out of bed. Hmmm. Maybe he digs me. By Tuesday night he was asking when he could meet me. We agreed on Saturday. Let the paranoia begin.

For the entirety of the time between then and now, I've worried about whether or not he would like me. He's seen my pictures and I've seen his, but when you tell someone you're a big girl you have to wonder if their version of "big girl" is in the same weight class as mine. Did he think I just meant I had a J-Lo bootie? Did he think I was simply a thick girl with a fat complex? Did the lighting in my pics have me looking 100 pounds lighter? If so, can I have my own lighting crew follow me around wherever I go? A couple nights ago I flat out told him that I knew he'd like my personality because I'm no different in person than I am on the phone, but that I worried that I was bigger than he was expecting. He basically told me not to worry about it. That he knows I'm working on it and part of the reason he wanted to get to know me was because he was attracted to how determined and focused I sounded in my ad. Alright, sucker, but don't say I didn't warn you.

So, tomorrow is D Day. He's been counting down. He actually wanted us to hang out tonight, too, because his plans changed, but I couldn't. If tomorrow goes well he wants to hang out on Sunday, too. He's very excited about it all. I would be, too, if I weren't preparing myself for potential let down. I know...Miss. Cup Half Empty. I've been doing this "blind date" style dating for decades and never have had someone be disappointed with me. Why do I feel compelled to convince myself that there is a chance they'll run screaming when they see me? I'm sick. I need therapy. After we hung up tonight I lay in bed worrying about it and the phone rang again. It was him. He just wanted to tell me that he was really looking forward to tomorrow and for me not to worry...everything will be fine. I hope he's right.

1 comment:

Carlos said...

so don't leave us did it go??