Friday, August 8, 2008

Paging Dr. Kevorkian...Dr. Kevorkian?

On October 27, 1997 Oregon enacted the Death with Dignity Act which allows terminally-ill Oregonians to end their lives through the voluntary self-administration of lethal medications, expressly prescribed by a physician for that purpose. This entry is not up for political debate, but I will say I'm a believer in Death with Dignity after having watched two grandmothers waste away to nothing from diseases with no cures and knowing there was nothing that could be done for them. They deserved better than that and so does my scale. I feel the courts would consider the assisted suicide of my scale to be a valid one if only they knew how sick it truly is.

I got on it this morning for a Pre Weigh In weigh in. I have suffered one pound losses for 2 weeks in a row and with all the working out I was doing I wanted to see if it was paying off yet. I typically have to get on it 3 or 4 times before I get matching numbers as I don't think the floor in my room is exactly even. I got on it this morning and the number was the same as it was on Monday. It was disheartening, but I knew I had to get on it a couple more times to know the truth. I got on it five times and the number was different every time. I nudged it forward and it just kept on being different. I nudged it sideways and more of the same. Different, different, slightly different, DOH we have a match, different again, and again, and again. I shit you not, I got on there 30 times. If that's an exaggeration, it ain't much of one. It was ranging between 337, my weight from Monday, to 327. Now 327 is a beautiful thing. I've told myself I have to wait until 329 before I can get another pedicure and I could justify getting one before my date on Saturday (yes, you read that correctly) if it truly was 327. I nudged it to a 4th location and got on again. 331.5, 331.5, 331.5...hmmm, apparently we're going with 331.5. It's no pedicure, but I'll take it over one pound any day. I still have until Monday to pull off even bigger numbers for the week (or completely stress eat my way into Saturday's date and gain it all back).

So ladies and gentlemen of the jury, as the facts have clearly shown, Death with Dignity is the only real humane choice before us. With your express permission, I shall open the window at the top of the stairs and send her plummeting to her death. No really, it's a very dignified way for a scale to go.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

do it, do it, do it! haha

CDSMBoyles (Steph) said...

We can have a double funeral as mine has caught the same deadly illness that yours has...I have taken it upon myself to name the disease, "Cantmakeupyoureffinmindyoupieceofcrappymetal Syndrome". I admit though, I do not think I shall shed any tears.

Becci said...

Take the bitch down! I find it slightly odd that your scale is female, I always considered mine a male, since it was such a pain in my ass. But now that I think about it, constantly changing it's mind, it probablly is a chick :)

And yeah, have fun today, ya hottie!